Imagine, if you will, a perfect world in which...

...K-Fed and Paris Hilton decide to collaborate on a diss album aimed towards Nicole Ritchie and Dairy Queens across the nation.


In response, Nicole Ritchie and Ashlee Simpson (recovering from what I assume will be a failed attempt to portray herself as "punk rock") decide to come out with an extremely vulgar, violence-influenced gangsta rap album, stating that they'd like to "pop caps in those beeotches asses!"

At that point, I imagine Kimberly Stewart somehow gets caught in the crossfire and dies a tragic death, made all the more tragic by nobody noticing.

Afterwards, I'll buy the rights to the story, sell it to MTV as a "hip-hopera" starring everyone as themselves, since I doubt any of the participants will be busy anyways.